lessor: (Default)
Your New Landlord ([personal profile] lessor) wrote2012-08-24 04:10 pm
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APPLICATIONS II - CLOSED

DO NOT POST APPS HERE. THEY WILL BE IGNORED.
POST THEM HERE INSTEAD.
gorillatama: (Default)

[personal profile] gorillatama 2013-06-01 10:19 pm (UTC)(link)
Other:
His last sword was named Kotetsu-Z II
He loves baseball
His scientific classification is Gorilla Gorilla Gorilla

SAMPLES
First Person:
[Sadists in denial and masochists in denial go hand in hand, don’t they? Otae looked so peaceful, to Kondo’s damn near brain damaged vision, and so happy that even through his agony he smiled stupidly and dribbled…oh was that blood? Internal bleeding? INTERNAL BLEEDING OF THEIR LOVE!

Ah but Otae had just inhaled deeply…was she alright or…OH…Kondo gave Otae a warm smile, a knowing glint in his eyes. Idiot.]

Otae-san there’s no need to be shy about farting in front of me, we’ve nibbled at the fruit of fate together, till gas do us never part our cheeks! Usually when I try to cover up my gas I clap really loudly or cough until it’s over. But your delicate and smooth butt could only produce freshly scented puffs of pixie dust that smell of honey dew! [What even was that…was honey dew milk a thing? What exactly kind of teats did that come from? Let’s not go there yet.

And okay so his hand was a little…damp, but that was sweat of joy because he was so happy to see her! There was no full on booger contact between the clammy hand clasping Otae’s and the gooey menaces. None at all.]

No need to be so concerned about him, he’s a man now, isn’t he? Us future family members have been looking out for each other.

[She uttered her brother’s name oh so sweetly that Kondo couldn’t help but be moved once again, eyes so adoring and full of warmth. Ah, the first thing she thinks of upon being tugged ruthlessly from her world is her younger brother, of course! Ahhh what a kind wife he had. If only he knew the pain in store for his brother in law. Naturally though he didn’t have time to think of his partner in glasses because at that moment Otae…she was smiiiiling at him. And he felt a very gooey, fuzzy and tight feeling in his chest and a goofy smile of his own joined hers and he had no fucking idea that a split second later he would be in tears.

CRACK went his fingers.] AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH OTAE-SAN, OTAE-SAN I UH, I THINK YOU MIGHT HAVE HELD MY HAND A LITTLE TOO TIGHT, I-I-IF YOU’RE SCARED IT’S OKAY TO HOLD MY HAND B-B-BUT PLEASE NOT THAT HARD, WAIT TILL A ROMANTIC DATE AT A HAUNTED HOUSE RIDE. P-P-PLEAAAAAAAAAAAAASE MY HAND OTAAAAAAAAAAAEEEEEEEEEEEE-SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN YOUR EXPRESSION OF LOVE CAN ONLY MAKE ME IGNORE HOW MY FINGERS ARE CROOKED FOR SO LON-

IS THAT A BONE STICKING OUT? AHA…HAH…YOU’RE SO PASSIONATE…

[If he set out an SOS with some banana peels do you think anyone would notice? Does a Gorilla crap in a tree?]

But I’m really happy you’re so worried about me, Otae-san! But there’s no need to worry! Really. If we believe it’s a training mission then it really will feel like one eventually! [He could somehow smile through the thick tears in his eyes and voice.]

Third Person: Kondo being Kondo couldn’t simply sit around while his second in command and the rest of the newly Clusterfucked population went about bringing some good old fashioned 21st (relatively speaking) century whoop ass upon the land- not to mention all of the renovations and determination to make the best of things. And as it turned out he was happy enough to do the same; patrolling and attempting to solve minor disputes between the residents was a full time shit (read as: zero) paying job but somebody had to have their best interests in mind. Plus it semi kept him out of the trouble of too much time on his hands and headaches for his remaining comrades that even mayo or torture couldn’t relieve.

But all work and no play made the sometimes nicknamed Gorilla an overworked boy and alllll the determination and focus in the better known universe couldn’t put humpty together aga- er keep Kondo bound for long. So on a cool aftereven….mor- it’s a cave so time is relative, Kondo took the chance to expand his exploration on the reasoning that the bananas he had recently obtained were running out and also tasted kind of funky to even his expert tastebuds. That and all the jungle fever jokes, and finding a cave to search out hidden innuendos and metaphors in was a sure fire way to spend the day.

There he was, expert explorer for Mankind with his clothes streaked with dirt and a suspicious blue substance glowing in smears across his lips and chin, a hand dutifully clutching his jiblies for their own safety in this unknown world, and in his eyes burned the determination of a single (Virgo, likes long walks on the beach and Peace and bananas and holding hands) human being bent on a clear goal in mind.

“Gotta piss gotta piss gotta piss gotta piiiiiiiiiiisssssssssss….” His gait was that of a man who either had an enraged girlfriend/stalk-ee on his tail or a sale on the latest video equally on his tail if he in fact had a tail. Since this isn’t the case let’s just say the Pee Dance to the Nth power. Thus he shuffled to on stalagmite in particular and then there was the recognizable sound of a zipper being tugged into freedom and a liberating stream that unfortunately was interrupted by a voice shattering his pee……….ace

“W-WHAT?! YOU WHO’S…………THERE!? SHOW YOURSELF! I AM THE COMMANDER OF THE SHINSENGUMI AND I HAVE A……….well blue pee…dammit I got some on my shoe…S-SO I’M NOT AFRAID TO ARREST YOU!”

If you choose to accept this mission will you leave him hanging with literally his weewee hanging?

OTHER
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Housing Request?: I'd like Kondo's kawaii wife to be Katsura Kotaro (keepcalmandbomb) i-if thats ok...
Did you read the rules & FAQ?: Yes, masters
Would you like your application to be unscreened?: Y