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Your New Landlord ([personal profile] lessor) wrote2012-08-24 04:10 pm
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APPLICATIONS II - CLOSED

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Re: homura akemi | puella magi madoka magica | reserved

[personal profile] chainedclock 2013-10-06 11:49 pm (UTC)(link)
Personality:

You know that ages-old trope---"mysterious transfer student"?

What probably doesn't help is that Madoka Kaname first technically met Homura Akemi in a dream (and a scary one, at that), of all things. And Homura herself exemplifies said trope, at first blush. She gives off an intelligent, dignified air, with her soft-spoken, but eloquent way of speech, and is oddly skilled academically, from writing down complex mathematical equations in front of the class, to jumping the hurdle during gym (and apparently sets a new record, for good measure.). Naturally, her peers are awestruck and are immediately drawn to her; but while she is polite and engages her classmates to some degree, it's only on a superficial level, and she actually seems to be somewhat distant toward and even avoidant of them.

Which is where the 'mysterious' part really comes into play. In reality, Homura Akemi is awfully cold and even intense for such a young girl. Rather ironically, she seems to be at her iciest toward Madoka herself, often confronting her during her darker moments and leaving ominous and disheartening warnings regarding the true nature of the magical girls the former aspires to be. That being said, on top of being intimidating, Homura comes off as being harsh, even cruel; she doesn't mince her words, and speaks bluntly and to the point; at one point, she calls Madoka a 'fool,' and does little to comfort the latter upon Mami, and later, Sayaka, dying---instead, she uses their awful fates to drive the point home that it's a really, really bad idea to become a magical girl, Kyuubey being creepy as it is notwithstanding.

In fact, Homura appears to be entirely focused on, and, it can be said, obssesssed with preventing Madoka Kaname from contracting with Kyuubey and becoming a magical girl. And she's pretty damn ruthless about carrying out this objective, too---she goes so far as to confront and nearly kill Sayaka, feeling that the latter is endangering Madoka by sinking into despair and bringing herself that much closer to becoming a Witch, and even popping a cap in Kyuubey's ass right before Madoka's bambi eyes just as she's actually about to go through with her contract. Needless to say, none of this particularly helps shed Homura's image in a positive light among the other girls; Mami expresses veiled disdain towards her for her brutal ways, and Sayaka outright dislikes her, interpreting her coldness as selfishness and arrogance. About the only other magical girl Homura is on remotely civil terms with is Kyoko, but even then, Homura sees her as a temporary convenience, and Kyoko herself lashes out at her for acting apathetically toward Sayaka becoming a Witch. Kyuubey wastes no time in slowly stoking these flames, seeing Homura as a threat to his plans---in fact, he seems to know more than he lets on about her.

Of course, Homura herself also doesn't bother to try and make amends. In fact, she carries on, as undaunted and determined as ever. Pretty catty, right? Straight out of Mean Girls.

A picture may say a thousand words, but it never gives you any insight on the inner workings of a scene. In fact, out of all of the girls, Homura's wish is the most sincere, and shows that she's more altruistic than she appears to be. It's a pretty simple wish, too: to save her best friend.

You see, once upon a time, Homura Akemi wasn't always the mysterious transfer student, or the glacial iceberg Lone Ranger of the magical girls. In fact, in an odd twist, she was more like Madoka: shy, insecure, a bit clumsy and awkward. Having been afflicted with a heart disorder, not many people expected much out of her, which further lowered her self-esteem. Sure, she got better, but after having been isolated for so long, she found she couldn't interact with her peers properly, and constantly embarrassed herself in class, being unable to stand in front of the class and getting easily worn out during P.E. Her peers were quick to notice, and gossip was spread. There was the nice pink-haired girl who complimented her name and encouraged her to open up and live by it but she didn't have the nerve.

Feeling useless, she was lured into a Witch Labryinth, and nearly died, until she met the pink-haired girl again. Who turned out to be a magical girl, and went by the name Madoka Kaname.

In her, Homura found a reason to believe in herself. Watching Madoka and her friends fight, seeing Madoka absolutely glow with confidence and cheer, Homura realized that maybe, just maybe, she could be like that too, and enjoy the warmth of finally feeling like she had a place to belong.

Tragically, Madoka died, in destroying the ultimate Witch, Walpurgisnacht, and Homura was left with no other choice but to change, and to put herself at risk, as Madoka did. For Homura---yet again---could only sit there helplessly as she watched her best friend sacrifice herself.

So she became a magical girl, and her journey began. Homura pushed herself to become stronger; mastering her newfound magic, learning to create explosives, stealing guns---all building blocks toward the 'cool' Homura we've come to know. But again, Madoka died, becoming a Witch, as Kyuubey watched impassively, revealing the truth behind the Soul Gems. And again, with Madoka sacrificing herself to save Homura.

But Homura refused to stop trying, and resolved to save her friend, no matter what it takes. Hardened by her experiences with each new timeline she restarted, we learn that Homura isn't cold and ruthless for the sake of being a bitch; her ominous words are actually accumulated maturity and wisdom from making mistakes and witnessing the true suffering these girls endure, and while she's being harsh about it, she's actually being honest, because there's really no way of sugar-coating things---she knows what will happen, and there's no point in lying. To do so would make her no different from Kyuubey, and he's the one partially perpetuating this mess in the first place. Her brutality actually stems from her desire and will to protect and save Madoka; having realized that none of her fellow magical girls will realize the truth in time, and can't relate to her wish, Homura has decided to shoulder the burden alone, no matter what everyone thinks of her---her newfound strength and confidence at work.

That is not to say Homura is without emotions, contrary to popular belief. In fact, she merely chooses to supress them, as she knows getting too emotional will cause her to lose focus and cloud her judgment, and she can't risk falling into despair and becoming a Witch. She expresses sadness when Kyoko dies alongside Sayaka's Witch form, perhaps due to being reminded of Madoka's many sacrifices during previous timelines. She is hurt whenever Madoka beats up on herself too much, because her lack of self-esteem undermines how precious she is in Homura's eyes; and overall, she's lonely without Madoka, now that the latter's memories have been reset and she no longer remembers their friendship. Additionally, Homura's emotions further show in her recklessness---in her dogged determination to avert Madoka's cruel fate, by constantly resetting the timeline, she comes to realize, via Kyuubey, of course---she's also perpetuating that fate.

Because, as they say, if you love something, you have to let it go.