lessor: (Default)
Your New Landlord ([personal profile] lessor) wrote2012-04-08 03:26 am
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The Lease
Hello ________________! Welcome to your new home. I'm sure you want to get settled in immediately but there are a few things I need to clear up with you so our agreement can commence as soon as possible.

First of all, your new address is now ____ Holly Heights. Congratulations! You've got quite a lovely home. I should know, I own it. At least, partially. You did sign a lease with me after all. You have wonderful taste! I'm especially fond of the french doors and the convertible. That's yours too, just in case you've forgotten. I know I feel a little groggy after waking from a nap, so it's no big deal if you did. I've dropped you off with your new keys, so don't worry.

Moving on, I guess I need to tell you about those, don't I? One of them is obviously the key to your house and car. It's the one with the little number on it. Try not to lose it, although I can give you a few extra if you need. You should also have four other keys, I do believe. A red, yellow, green, and blue. Those are for the communities gates. I can't afford to have who knows what kind of crazies running around here helter skelter.

The green one gets you in and out of your little housing community. You don't have to lock it behind you, it'll do that by itself. The blue key is for the working world where you can go buy whatever else satisfies you and work. Nothing is more satisfying than a hard earned living, I don't think. Red gets you into the finer things in life. The arts, fine dining, the fruits of all your labor. Take a night on the town every once in a while. Or all the time, if you're the type. Just make sure to keep up with the tab. You've got a credit card but there's another key to worry about here. If you're one of the more scholarly sorts, or a small child or teenager or whatever they call those young people these days, then this key is for your schooling. Don't play hooky or there might be a certain punishment in order. An education is very important for young minds, don't you think?

Now, for everything else. Of course you can't live here without the proper paperwork, and don't worry, that's been taken care of! There are a few things I'd like to give you.

First is your new credit card! It would be a shame to walk around penniless with all these wonderful things to spend your money on. Oh, but you only have five hundred big ones to start with. Remember what I said about working hard for a living?

Also, you'd be pretty lost here without a cell phone. Take a look inside! Look familiar to you? Maybe not? Don't worry if it's not, it's pretty easy to get used to them after a few tries. Have fun texting!

For Those 15+
Another thing is that, of course, with new wheels comes new responsibility. Hopefully you know how to drive or know someone that can teach you! Don't worry, I've already got you all squared away with the DMV. Which is me, by the way.

For Those In Any School
Don't forget what I said about school! You don't need to fret about acceptance; I've got it all squared away. Here's your new school ID so you can get on campus quite easily. That is, as long as you have your keys with you.

For Those Entering A House With Family
I know if must be hard coming into a foreign place alone, but fear not! You have the luxury of having a family already. I've done the work for you, it's alright. I hope you find my choices suitable to your taste. Don't believe me? Go on inside! You can thank me by enjoying your new life.

For Everyone
Remember, if you need me, just send me a text or letter. It shouldn't be too hard to figure out, right? I'm leaving the rest to you. Here's my card, just in case.